LOL I KNOW. I thought about this statement in the shower at length after I left that comment, and decided what I really meant is that I don't so much SEEK OUT Wincest anymore. I can't go into a huge epic story without it being Sam/Dean because I don't want to put THAT much investment in it and then have it end without THEM. Sam/Dean is better for me when it's spread out over a long period because I prefer first time fic rather than established, yet the more I get attached to the boys and develop firmer opinions on them, the harder I find it is to buy a wide range of "they get together like THIS" situations. So much first time fic is TOO EASY, when I really don't think Dean especially could accept it without Padalecki-sized amounts of angst and denial. Therefore SPN epics I'm awesome with because in my head I believe it would take THAT long for them to get together. But recently I read some REALLY GOOD GEN, especially by kroki_refur, and I feel like I've been missing out on all this awesome creepy gen for so long. So right now if it's a short fic I'll lean toward gen instead. XD
And the thing I'm realizing that's pushing me even more toward gen? Even gen fic is pretty much Sam/Dean. The show is Sam/Dean. I at several points last night just flailed at the screen, "HOW ARE YOU SO CANON, SAM/DEAN, HOW." They are the two most epically in love characters I've seen on TV or movies or books - and I mean that completely seriously, like, I tear up at their relationship - they don't need to have sex to be so utterly canon and in love in both fic and actual show. It's CRAZY. I've never felt this way about a pairing before, just completely satisfied as long as they are...THEM.
But yeah. Even if it doesn't PERFECTLY ADHERE to my preferences, I'll usually read a fic if it's recced, no matter the length. Rec away if you happen to think of one! I still love Wincest, it's just too much work for me to seek it out (QUITE AS MUCH).
Laaawl. You realize I can't finish anything, right? Ugh, and I can't write Sam/Dean, it's just. Their dynamic has this indescribable SOMETHING for me that makes me afraid to touch it because it is so holy.
HEY BY THE WAY YOU FUCKING MADE ME TEAR UP WITH THAT LAST PARAGRAPH WTFFFF JESS. ALSO "OPEN YOUR EYES" CAME ON JUST AS I STARTED READING IT. And you know how I get about that last scene of TBD pilot, whether it's Open Your Eyes or Rebellion that's playing. D: NO WAIT NEVER MIND I JUST READ IT AGAIN AND THOUGHT ABOUT WEE!SAM AND WHINY PMS TEEN!SAM AND FOND!DEAN LOVING HIM ANYWAY AND SAMMY HOLDING DEAN'S EMPTY BODY AND REGRETTING AND I'M ACTUALLY CRYING NOW.
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And the thing I'm realizing that's pushing me even more toward gen? Even gen fic is pretty much Sam/Dean. The show is Sam/Dean. I at several points last night just flailed at the screen, "HOW ARE YOU SO CANON, SAM/DEAN, HOW." They are the two most epically in love characters I've seen on TV or movies or books - and I mean that completely seriously, like, I tear up at their relationship - they don't need to have sex to be so utterly canon and in love in both fic and actual show. It's CRAZY. I've never felt this way about a pairing before, just completely satisfied as long as they are...THEM.
But yeah. Even if it doesn't PERFECTLY ADHERE to my preferences, I'll usually read a fic if it's recced, no matter the length. Rec away if you happen to think of one! I still love Wincest, it's just too much work for me to seek it out (QUITE AS MUCH).
Laaawl. You realize I can't finish anything, right? Ugh, and I can't write Sam/Dean, it's just. Their dynamic has this indescribable SOMETHING for me that makes me afraid to touch it because it is so holy.
HEY BY THE WAY YOU FUCKING MADE ME TEAR UP WITH THAT LAST PARAGRAPH WTFFFF JESS. ALSO "OPEN YOUR EYES" CAME ON JUST AS I STARTED READING IT. And you know how I get about that last scene of TBD pilot, whether it's Open Your Eyes or Rebellion that's playing. D: NO WAIT NEVER MIND I JUST READ IT AGAIN AND THOUGHT ABOUT WEE!SAM AND WHINY PMS TEEN!SAM AND FOND!DEAN LOVING HIM ANYWAY AND SAMMY HOLDING DEAN'S EMPTY BODY AND REGRETTING AND I'M ACTUALLY CRYING NOW.